Tuesday, June 22, 2004

"You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know you are near"


This is a song we sang in chapel today. I didn't know how much it would mean to me until tonight. Before praying out (something we do before leaving our shift) myself and two other dinner crew people started talking about the topic - suicide - I didn't know if they, the people who killed themselves, would go to heaven if they had once accepted Christ into their lives earlier in their lives. I went to the Lord and this is what He had me write.


"Willingly and without a fight" - By Leigh-Anne Walston
Sergi, why did you think it was the only way out?
God was still there beside you.
Could you hear Him crying out to you?
My precious son, please don't take your life away!
I have so much for you.
I know you think life is over, because of things that are going on around you.
Why didn't you come to Me?
You didn't have to take it into your own hands
I had you protected,
but you forgot about Me.(So I slowly allowed you to walk away)
I was crying out to you,

"NO! I love you!! I know you might not understand what is going on,
but I have everything under control.
Just trust Me!
NO!! Let go of the rope!
Don't take your life!

I want to be with you."
Sergi, I miss you!
The times we chilled out were full of laughter.
I don't understand what would cause you to take your life WILLINGLY AND WITHOUT A FIGHT.
What was going on?
You seemed so happy when I last saw you,
before you moved away to live with your family in Dallas.
Why did you moved back to live with your brother?
What was going on?
I have so many questions to ask you,
but I won't be able to ask you.
God, I want so much to know what was going on in his heart.
Did he deny You?
Will I see him again?
I miss his friendship, his smile, and his joy.
It was so contagious!
What happened to his joy?
What made him take his life?
Help me got through this time of grieving!
I don't think I really grieved over his sudden death.
Hold me close, Father, as I cry on Your shoulder.


I would love scriptures to memorize to help me through this time. Anybody have any that might help me focus on God in this hard time I'm going through right now?

posted by AshbyInLove @ 11:18 PM

{hey.halfofmine,..}